i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
