Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
