i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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