five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
