I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
