I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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