You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
