# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
