He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize