Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
