I need help removing her.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i barfeds in our rink
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
