need another drink. this is the easiest way
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
