i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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