he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
