I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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