i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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