A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
