Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize