You're so nebulous sometimes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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