u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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