Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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