I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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