i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
