The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
