Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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