how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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