Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
