Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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