I am in a vortex of obligation.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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