How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
