oh god the rape fog is back!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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