The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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