i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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