I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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