i think my mom watched the whole time
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
