just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
