Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
