my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
