And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
