I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
