either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Your cock deserves a montage
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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