So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
