So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
