Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
