please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
