belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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