oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize