Are we in a gay sports bar?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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