Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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