ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
