Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
