Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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