Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i think i just lost a toe
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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