I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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