It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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