Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
