so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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